Last week Disney CEO Bob Iger dropped an interesting tidbit about the upcoming Han Solo origin film. He stated: ”There are a few significant things that happen in Han Solo’s life, like acquiring a certain vehicle and meeting a certain Wookiee that will happen in this film. But you will also discover how he got his name.” Most of that we already knew except for that last bit, so, in perhaps the dumbest thing this site has ever published, we try to guess the real name of our favorite scruffy looking nerf herder.
In an ironic twist, we learn that Han’s name is actually Horatio Abraham Nicholson which he abbreviates to the much shorter Han.
Originally named Bort, he changes his name to Han after they run out of Bort license plates for the Falcon.
Thereby opening up the Star Wars / Speilberg shared universe
In a nod to legendary cowboy Clint Eastwood, Han was originally named Clint Hardwood but changes it when he realizes that name is more fitting for a 70s porn star rather than a feared outlaw
One day Han and Chewy got really high off of space drugs and decided it would be really funny to change their legal names. It plays out like this:
Chewy (translated): Han, you gotta try this new strain man,
Han: I dunno man, Where’d you get it?
Chewy: I know the flute guy in the Catina band
Han: That guy? But he looks so innocent
Chewy: Dude, just try it
Han: I got a bad feeling about this
*10 minutes later*
Han: and it’s gone
Chewy: What’s gone?
Han: Nevermind, Man, my name is so boring…I mean, Han Solo, what does that even mean?
Chewy: You should totally change it, dude,
Han: To what?
*Chewy roars but at this point, Han is so high his interpretation of the Wookie language is the same as the audience*
*Cut to a shot of Han’s official identification*
Under name, it reads: “huuguughghg uughguughhhghghghhhgh”
Han’s parents always wanted to have a girl so when Han came out male they decided to keep the name anyway. Fearing that having a girl’s name would hurt his galactic street credibility Hope has his named changed to Han.
Ronald McDonald Solo
In an instance of pure selling out, Disney commits the ultimate product placement. Also this…
In a game of Dejarik, Hank Solo bets Lando Calrissian 1000 space credits. When Lando comes to collect, he gets 1 K. Literally.
Because Meta Irony.